“Wall Tax”: A Sweet Tax on Canada’s Sweetest Things

In a move to fund the construction of the Great Wall of Canada, the government has proposed a “wall tax” on Canadian citizens. But what exactly does this tax entail? Well, be prepared to say goodbye to some of Canada’s most beloved things, like maple syrup.

The Maple Syrup Surcharge

As part of the “wall tax” proposal, the government plans to levy a surcharge on all maple syrup purchases. This means that those pancakes you love drenching in the sweet, sticky goodness will now cost you an arm and a leg. But, as the government argues, it is for the greater good and national security. Canadian Maple Syrup producers are not happy with this proposal, stating that it would greatly impact the industry and it could hurt the export of maple syrup worldwide, it will also make the famous Canadian breakfast much more expensive and less accessible to Canadians.

A Tax on Canadian Stereotypes

But maple syrup isn’t the only thing affected by the wall tax. Oh no, this tax also applies to other Canadian staples such as hockey sticks, flannel shirts, and even beaver pelts. The government argues that these items are not necessary for the well-being of Canadians and that the tax revenue generated from these items could be used to fund the wall. However, many Canadians argue that these items are part of their cultural identity and that taxing them is an attack on their heritage.

Tax on “Eh”s and “Sorry”s

Additionally, the wall tax includes a penalty for every “eh” and “sorry” said in a day, this penalty is intended to encourage Canadians to stop saying these two words, as the government argues that they are part of the stereotype of Canadians being polite to a fault. However, Canadians argue that these words are part of their national identity and that being forced to pay a penalty for using them is an infringement on their freedom of speech.

The Beer Tax

The wall tax also applies to all alcoholic beverages, including beer. This means that your favorite Molson Canadian will now cost you more than a round of “I am Canadian” speeches. The Canadian beer industry is one of the most important industries in the country and this proposal would affect it greatly, making it more difficult for Canadians to access their favorite beers and also affecting the brewing companies.

Government’s Response

Despite these controversies, the government has stated that the construction of the wall will proceed as planned. However, lawmakers have acknowledged that alternative funding methods are being considered. They acknowledged that the proposed funding methods are not the only solutions and they are trying to find a way that is less impactful on the citizens and the economy.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the proposed “wall tax” for funding the Great Wall of Canada has generated a lot of debate and controversy. The proposed surcharge on maple syrup, taxes on Canadian stereotypes, and penalties on language usage, would greatly impact the economy and citizens. Despite government’s assurance that the tax is necessary, many citizens argue that it is an unnecessary burden on them and an infringement on their cultural identity. It is important to consider the impact of any decision on citizens and the economy before implementation. As the government continues to explore funding options for the Great Wall of Canada, it is important that the public’s concerns and the potential impact on society are taken into consideration.

Bricking it for Canada remains a top priority at all levels of government.

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